One primary theme in Dan Millman’s book, “Way of the Peaceful Warrior” is that the “time is now and you are here.”
For me, this message means you should avoid allowing your mind to get caught in the past and causing the present to fade into the shadows. Instead, you need to make an effort to be here and now with the present moment. I know this often isn’t easy to do, but I believe as you consciously grieve and heal from losses, past issues will subside and not hijack the present moment.
Identifying your losses and where you may be holding onto anger is a good start to the process. You may be placing your anger onto something or someone else and blaming this “other” for your discomfort. Yes, you may have been terribly wronged or feel you have been robbed in some form, yet the discomfort is yours and finding a way to let go of it can release you from the past and help you avoid recycling the wound over and over.
Moments of your past can actually hold you captive and keep you confined and defined to something in the past rather than allowing you to develop a positive and productive future. Your blame and anger may be a scapegoat for present discomfort and blind you to present lessons and growth.
Once again, I know it is difficult to let go of the past but if you are feeling captured there are ways to heal. Consciously grieving your losses and bringing them into the light is a good start. Possibly finding a mental health professional, a support group, some type of clergy and/or a healthy friend that can listen and witness can be a good start. Realizing that you are in charge of your healing and growth takes the blame away and empowers you to move forward and reclaim your power. Until next time, I wish you well on your journey of healing from loss.
Golden Willow Retreat is a nonprofit organization focused on emotional healing. Direct any questions to Ted Wiard, LPCC, CGC, founder of Golden Willow Retreat and Clinical Supervisor for TeamBuilders Counseling at (575) 776-2024 or GWR@newmex.com.